COMMUNITY LIFE
Being a part of a community is an integral component to a happy and healthy life. Autism does not change that. It is important for your child’s wellbeing to try to get them involved in your community in ways that are right for them. Below is some helpful information on various important topics that will play a role in your child's life in the community.
Recreation
Community activities are great opportunities for your child to learn skills that will be beneficial to them now and as they transition into adulthood. Recreation can be particularly important for people with autism, drawing on opportunities to practice social skills, physical aptitude and increase motivation. These activities can also help increase your child’s self-confidence. Some parents assume their autistic child will not enjoy or be interested in recreation activities. It may be difficult to find the right fit, but the benefits of these community programs will outweigh the challenges you might face finding an activity that works for them.
10 tips for finding the best recreation program for your child
1. Let your child take the lead. As a parent, one only wants what is best for their child. However, it is essential to consider your child’s interests, abilities and strengths. Whenever possible, talk about the different sports programs that are available and include your child in the decision-making process.
2. Set realistic expectations. For your child to be able to grow in the program, it is important to set goals that are realistic and within reach. In this way, you are setting your child up for success!
3. Communication is key. When researching information about programs, communicate with the instructors or coaches. Be up front with them from the start and let them know about your child’s strengths and challenges. Inform them about what works and what doesn’t and see if they are a good fit for your child.
4. Try it out. Communicate with your child about trying out the program. Since many children with autism can have a tough time with transitioning, they may become anxious or nervous about going somewhere or doing something. It may help to let the child know what they will be doing to prepare them for any changes that can occur. Many parents and teachers use a visual schedule in the form of pictures, to outline their daily activities.
5. Chat with other parents. Word of mouth is one of the best tools at your disposal. Talking with the other parents is a great way to really get to know what the program is about. Asking them about their experiences can provide you with a lot of great information.
6. Class size matters. When trying out the program, whether it’s a class or a team, consider the student-teacher ratio. Having only one instructor for a big group can make it difficult to provide individualized attention. Unless the program encourages parent participation, it is beneficial to have assistant instructors present, to help manage the class/practice.
7. Safety first. If the sport requires use of any equipment, examine if it is safe and in good repair. Also, consider the facilities and check to see if they are clean and hygienic. Communicate any medical conditions or allergies to the instructors beforehand and keep a first aid kit with you.
8. Be flexible. Understand that at first, your child may not be able to do everything the other children can do. Working on too many points of detail at once, or spending too much time on a task, may be overwhelming and cause frustration. Talk to the coach/instructor and see if skills and activities can broken-down into smaller, more manageable sections, so your child can feel successful each time. If you see your child become frustrated or fatigued, have the coach allow for a short break and go with the child’s pace.
9. Go the extra mile. Whenever possible, help your child with autism raise his skill level by practicing at home. Keep it fun and stress free. In the beginning, it may also help to arrange a private lesson or two with the coach. The will provide him with individualized attention and prepare him to be in a group setting.
10. Be patient and stay positive! If initially it seems like your child is not progressing as much, keep at it and use lots of encouragement. Everyone, including adults like being recognized for doing something well. Therefore, use lots of praise and high fives! Even if your child has not fully mastered the skill, reward the effort.
Wandering
A 2012 study from the Interactive Autism Network confirmed that nearly half of all children with autism have attempted to wander or bolt from a safe, supervised place. Safety is a critical part of everyone’s life at home and in the community. Being aware of surroundings and taking precautions to stay safe are even more important for people with autism and their families. Work with your child’s treatment team to create a safety plan for your child.
Wandering, or leaving a safe place alone, is a major concern in the autism community. For information about safety and wandering, visit autismspeaks.org/safety. Wandering-related incidents among people with autism are far too common. In response to unfortunate incidents and the fears they have raised for parents in the autism community, we put together a list of steps you can take to prevent wandering incidents and keep your child safe at school.
While there are many obvious ways to help keep your child safe at home (door locks, fences, neighbor alerts, etc.), it is also critical to put in place a plan to help keep them safe at school.
Seven steps to prevent wandering at your child's school
1. Address wandering issues in your child’s IEP.
If there is a history of wandering incidents, it’s important to call a meeting with school staff, administrators and your child’s IEP team to make them aware of these past situations.
2. Write a letter requesting that you always be informed, immediately and in writing, of any wandering incident on or off the campus.
If your child requires 1-on-1 supervision, be sure to make this extremely clear to school staff – and clearly documented in the IEP – and emphasize that under no circumstances should your child be left alone.
3. Carefully document all wandering-related incidents.
Sharing this information with the staff at your child’s school will help prepare them if such an incident occurs at school. For example, where has your child been found in the past? Where would they most likely be drawn to near campus?
4. Try to eliminate all possible triggers that have led to wandering in the past.
For example, if your child is drawn to water, be sure that all pools, lakes, etc. in the area of the school are blocked off so that there is no chance your child will be able to access them.
5. Ask what the school’s policies are on wandering prevention.
Understand any and all security measures used by the school. If you think something is missing, be sure to voice your concerns.
6. Introduce your child to all security staff.
Provide the security team with more information about your child, such as how to calm them down, whether or not they respond well to touch, sound, etc.
7. Be sure that your child’s IEP also includes safety skills and wandering-prevention measures.
Include these skills in your child’s therapy programs if you are able to do so.
Bullying
Unfortunately, children with autism are often vulnerable to bullying. In a 2012 study, the Interactive Autism Network found that a total of 63% of 1,167 children with autism, ages six to 15, had been bullied at some point in their lives. There are many tools and resources available to help prevent bullying of your child at school. Autism Speaks is proud to partner with National Center for Learning Disabilities, PACER’s National Bullying Center and Ability Path, as well as the documentary film BULLY, to raise awareness about how bullying affects children with special needs.
Information below is adapted from a Special Needs Anti-Bullying Tool Kit produced by the partnership.
Talking to your child about bullying
It is critical to help your child recognize the signs of bullying.
Children may not always realize that they are being bullied. They might think it is bullying only if they are being physically hurt; they might believe the other child is joking; or they may not understand the subtle social norms and cues. Children can benefit from a definition of the differences between friendly behavior and bullying behavior.
The basic rule: Let children know if the behavior hurts or harms them, either emotionally or physically, it is bullying.
Parents can prepare themselves to talk with their children by considering how they are going to respond to their child’s questions and emotions. They can also decide what information they would like to give their child about bullying. Parents should be ready to:
- Listen. It is the child’s story; let him or her tell it. They may be in emotional pain about the way they are being treated.
- Believe. The knowledge that a child is being bullied can raise many emotions. To be an effective advocate, parents need to react in a way that encourages the child to trust.
- Be supportive. Tell the child it is not his fault and that he does not deserve to be bullied. Empower the child by telling her how terrific she is. Avoid judgmental comments about the child or the child who bullies.
- Be patient. Children may not be ready to open up right away. The child might be feeling insecure, withdrawn, frightened, or ashamed.
- Provide information. Parents should educate their child about bullying by providing information at a level that the child can understand.
- Explore options for intervention strategies. Parents can discuss options with their child to deal with bullying behavior.
Find the full article and many more bullying resources for you and your child at specialneeds.thebullyproject.com.